courtesy of CFR.org
courtesy of radio free europe
courtesy of Reuters
courtesy of Sydney Morning Herald
by Curtis Ray Benally courtesy of Rollingstone.com
I grasp this beast of kinky curls that sits upon my head, attempting to tame it into submission. First, the wire brush stretching strands straight as concentrated hot air dry the water from the beast. Slowly the taming comes. Finally dry, frizz left there, making me aware who the boss really is. I break out my next weapon against this frizzy beast: The flat iron. And while it heats, I tune the speakers to a podcast about the missing women of Juarez. Sectioning my beast hair as I listen about women missing, women found dead, women to whom no one paid attention because they were women, girls because they were brown because they were poor women, girls brown poor— The things that do not grab attention that fade away in the media easy to say of these— They ran away. They ran away with a boyfriend. Oh, she’s a drug addict. Who knows where she went? And on I go to straighten another section Of hair with my hot flat iron. My beast neatly tamed. I think it would be easier to braid my hair into rows. Decorating the braids with small beads, a bead for each missing woman, a bead for each murdered woman, a bead for each missing, murdered, indigenous woman of color in this land, across the globe. Each tiny bead with a name microscopically etched and then braided into my hair as beads of grief, a bead for each woman, each girl— If I could then even lift my bead heavy head like the mothers who carry sandbags of grief searching the world for daughters gone missing— what could I, one person, do? The world spins on. Despite the burden of beads, these beads braided into the fabric of motherhood across the globe for girls gone missing, girls glanced at, ignored by a society that sends up invisible prayers then turns forgetting what it deems valueless, girls marked by the violence of poverty, Then I think of 22 year old, Mahsa Amini. dead in the twisted irony of morality police custody for a hijab violation. I should shave my head in solidarity with the women of Iran who protest. But what could I, one person, do? Would beads or a shaved head here make a difference? Would anyone know the meaning? My neck cannot bear the weight of braids with beads enough for each woman. My bald head would not be understood as sign of solidarity. So I send out my chicken scratches of a poem into the world, and I choose to leave it as it is, Untamed and ugly.