In Honor of Narges Mohammadi, Jailed Iranian activist and 2023 Nobel Peace Prize winner

Hair Part I & II

Image courtesy of the BBC

Women, we are tortured by our hair.

It is never what we want.

It never obeys our desires.

A mischievous heathen,

it laughs at our attempts

to bend it to our will.

We grow it, cut it, dye it,

curl it, straighten it,

treat it with carcinogenic chemicals

to beat the mischief making

blasphemer into submission.

All the while, it laughs at us

as our enemies, humidity and wind,

destroy in seconds
the cooperation

we thought we’d earned

with our torturous machinations.



Hair:

Too thin,

Too thick,

Too curly,

Too unruly,

Too straight,

Too limp,

Too frizzy,

And the color—

Too…too…too…too-too little

and too-too much of everything—

Never exactly as it should be.

It will not follow our will.

Pull it into a ponytail.

Shove it under a baseball cap or a sun hat.

Why don’t we just shave our heads

And let it be done?





This woman’s crowning glory,

a temptation enough to make angels fall

from the heights of heaven at the sight it,

necessitates head coverings and wigs for women,

according to some.

After all, who wants it to rain angels

into the streets of the world?

That’s a sight I wouldn’t mind seeing

since I’ve got questions for those angels.

For one, why do women have to help angels

control such lusty impulses?

But I digress as I begin my morning battle

with my own head of hair.

II
I grasp this beast of kinky

curls that sits upon my head,

attempting to tame it into submission.

First, the wire brush stretching strands

straight as concentrated hot air

dry the water from the beast.

Slowly the taming comes.

Finally dry, frizz left there,

making me aware who the boss really is.



I break out my next weapon

against this frizzy beast:

The flat iron.

And while it heats,

I tune the speakers to a podcast

about the missing women of Juarez.

Sectioning my beast hair as I listen

about women missing,

women found dead,

women to whom no one paid attention

because

they were

women, girls

because

they were

brown

because

they were

poor

women, girls

brown

poor—

The things

that do not grab attention

that fade away in the media

easy to say of these—

They ran away.

With a boyfriend, likely.

Oh, she’s a drug addict.
Who knows where she went?



And on I go to straighten another section

Of hair with my hot flat iron.

My beast neatly tamed.

I think it would be easier to braid my hair into rows.

Decorating the braids with small beads,

a bead for each missing woman,

a bead for each murdered woman,

a bead for each missing, murdered, indigenous woman of color

in this land, across the globe.

Each tiny bead

with a name microscopically etched

and then braided into my hair

as beads of grief,

a bead for each woman, each girl—

If I could then even lift

my bead heavy head

like the mothers who carry

sandbags of grief searching

the world for daughters

gone missing—

what could I, one person, do?



The world spins on.

Despite the burden of beads,

these beads braided

into the fabric of motherhood

across the globe

for girls gone missing,

girls glanced at, ignored

by a society that sends up invisible prayers

then turns forgetting what it deems valueless,

girls marked by the violence of poverty,





Then I think of 22 year old, Mahsa Amini.

dead in the twisted irony

of morality police custody for a hijab violation.

I should shave my head in solidarity

with the women of Iran

who protest.

But what could I, one person, do?



Would beads or a shaved head here make a difference?

Would anyone know the meaning?

My neck cannot bear the weight of braids with beads enough for each woman.

My bald head would not be understood as sign of solidarity.



So I send out my chicken scratches of a poem

into the world, and I choose to leave it as it is,

Untamed and ugly.

If the Eternal Exists

Image is my own
no gulf across time
no forever in forever promises
of time that drips still
as if the eternal existed
in the binding of souls
and yet--

and yet—
breath stops in hope--
with my final breath
I will soar into the sun
to wait for you,
or should it be--
find you there waiting for me,
then we will fly beyond
whatever magic of spirit
there exists,
mingling and joining
with the elements--
of air
of earth
of water
of fire
merging and separating
and merging again
for an eternity.

then should we,
in the beauty of condemned blessings,
fall to earth once again,
no matter where,
no matter when,
I will find you yet again.

The Birth of Autumn

Image is my own
At the edges of this cool morning,
humming with the dying of summer,
I, long awake, attend to things
that must be done:
dogs fed; trash pulled to the curb;
a load of laundry started;
hummingbird feeders cleaned;
all ordinary, mundane things—
This chill in the air has me wish
I’d put on a jacket, yet the chill
will be gone by noon. 
And I find I smile.

For the first time,
I do not despair at the dying
of this year’s summer,
but find a joyous warmth 
in the light as this year’s autumn
is born.	

Of Stones and Weeds

Image courtesy of Reddit.com

I could rake these stones.
Free these tiny weeds
which my feeble fingers fumble to grab
and tweeze out. 
Yes, with a rake,
I could disturb the harmony
of stones, free the weeds—

But no.  

I have had enough of stones.
I’ve enough of their weight 
placed upon me.
I’ve carried the tonnage of stone
from place to place,
lived under it,
barely breathing through years,
lived decades encased within a sarcophagus 
of other’s demands and expectations,
all shattered now in lovely shards
left in the distance behind me.

No, I will leave these stones undisturbed.
They will not take up my time.
There are other ways to weed,
and should the weeds take the stones,
there is beauty to be found in the wildness of weeds.

For All Our Daughters, A Prayer

Image courtesy of depositphoto.com
My daughter, mine,
though you live
       thousands of miles away
sleep safe, my daughter mine.

Though you live	
        where a man caresses a weapon of war as he plots
	to drill death into hundreds as he walks down a street,
sleep safe, my daughter mine.

Though you live 
        where freedom should ring 
	yet a state ties you hostage in righteous ropes of religion,
sleep safe, my daughter mine.

Though you live
        where you must sell your body
	to feed your children,
sleep safe, my daughter mine.

Though you live
        where no one, no law will protect you
	from the monster who sleeps beside you,
sleep safe, my daughter mine.

Though you live 
        where you have no voice,
        where you die in the custody of morality police,
        where you can disappear with no outcry to echo behind,
sleep, sleep safe, my daughter mine.




To Do Lists

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

Morning drifts
away with chores
I assign myself:
The must do, the needs to be done—
An endless list to fill a notepad
next to the calendar:
Feed the dogs,
Clean and fill the hummingbird feeders,
Change the sheets,
Do the ironing,	
Neatly fold the sheets from the dryer
so they align perfectly on the shelf in the closet--
Leave no time to think.
Even less time to feel.
Keep all thoughts,
All feelings at bay.
Use the list like a whip and a chair.
Let no old cliché hold any sway.
Whip the old “nothing ventured, nothing gained”
into a new pose of Nothing ventured, nothing lost
upon the circus stand,
a much easier creature
to manage this way.

Golden Promises

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

golden promises 
shimmer in summer’s sunlight
somehow cozy now

think eternity 
somehow cozy, snuggled in
velvet lined starlight

as

earth turns toward fall
no comfort of faith 
within Fatima’s secrets



Moonwashed Weekly Prompt – Somehow-cozy – Moonwashed Musings (amanpan.blog)

Of Wounds and Winter

Image courtesy of PxFuel.com
Winter exists in this quiet realm:
The place of spring dreams
where from rich loam
colors emerge vibrant,
as if hope, become a virgin,
offered her hand 
to lessen Winter’s ache 
enough the wounded reach
to touch without wounding
in the trying.

An Unrepentant Sky

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

merge with the unrepentant sky,
learn the truth, the reasons why
suffering and fear and hatred abound,
feeding upon human souls,
destroying what Nature did so elegantly design,
the beauty of humanity
from the inside out--
until we are devils,
our mouths foaming blood-tinged froth
while our claws fill with sinew torn
from our innocent brethren,
who different from us,
are deemed worthy only of hate—
and the earth turns
on its axis of destruction
in an unrepentant sky
as any God that be cries.

The Heart

Image courtesy of sketchfab.com
An odd creature,
powers through a day,
decades, a life.

A four chambered
survivalist beast,
outlasting all fracturing
cracks of grief
when the spirit, will, mind
drift away.

In imitation,
a four chambered thing
beats on and on.