I gather hardened scars of loss and damage Braided into keloid beauty That are not blossoms of bitterness, But fragrant beauties That make me who I am. Even the bars of your barren garden Called love could not steal away The essence of my hope. Instead, the black, barrenness within sugar syrup words Of one never able to love Contain no acid To eat away My skin of hope.
Vanishing in the light of dawn, Reflection slowly fading away– Terrified at being lost, Horrified at never being found
Discovering there was nothing Left to be gained– To be had, Nothing left to want– Left to desire.
Only time stood in the way Of the time when a child knows how to play. A time so long ago, Really, if a child ever knew The luxury of play Such is the childhood Of a child who parents the parent– The deficit of play
So in the return of a reflection, To fading back into skin, Gaining a discovery Of the need, the desire To play, to become at times, The child who had never been Allowed to be.
I knew how to dance once. Didn’t have to think about the placement of feet, a way back when the movement of elegance and grace, of heat and passion, of fun and joy was all rhythms I could hear and follow, Reveling in the feel Before a shoulder snapped out of joint, Hanging limp at my side, And I unlearned the lessons of dance, Unlearned all the intricacies Of the Argentine, Unlearned the grace Of the Viennese, Unlearned the joy Of doing double time.
Unlearned everything of dance Until I barely remembered I once knew how to dance.
Then I tried to learn The Texas Two Step And failed and failed and failed Couldn’t feel the steps and glides That looked so easy, so fun And I wondered if I ever had known How to really dance. Maybe once, a long time ago, I could have mastered this, This Texas Two Step dance.
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