Letters To My Mother

Her Story About Voting and Hope

My mom

Dear Mom,

I want to preserve your stories. The stories you told of how you grew up in the poverty of West Virginia during the Great Depression. I want your granddaughter to know them, to absorb the wisdom they contain.

Since it is near a pivotal mid-term election, I am reminded of your story about importance of voting. I heard you tell this story so many times I memorized your words, and so I will let your words tell the story—

“It was early November. Don’t remember the date or day. I was about nine years old when it happened. Back up in the mountains, in the hollers*, people would to cook food for a family where someone was ill or if the woman had just had a baby, and the kids, like around my age then, we’d deliver it.

It was my mother’s turn to make a food bundle for a neighbor family in the holler. The woman had just given birth a little while ago but was suffering with sickness after. So that afternoon, my mother sent me up there with a pot and a bundle of food for the family. I had no trouble going down the road to deliver the food. But it seemed such a long way. It was already twilight by the time I got there to deliver the food.

So, on the way back, I decided going through the woods would be quicker. But I’d never been through the woods. I ended up getting all turned around and couldn’t find my way back to the road. By that time, it was pitch dark. I was so scared. I heard something that sounded like a big animal, a bear or something, so I climbed up a tree where I thought it would be safe. It was damn cold that night too.

I was scared. I was cold. I knew my mother was going to be pissed off. Early in the morning, it must have been just as it was getting light, I heard all these people calling for me. I could hear my father above all of the others. I shimmied down that tree so happy to be found. I yelled out. My father was the first to reach me. He scooped me up. My mother, she was lightening mad. She was rambling on about teaching me a lesson about not running off like that. She took out her little knife she always had in her apron pocket and cut a switch off a tree. She grabbed me from my father and said I needed a good whippin’. Now, my father, he usually let my mother do the disciplinin’ of us kids because he was always working in the mines or traveling to find work in other mines or farms. But not that day. He swept me up and grabbed my mother’s wrist as she started to drawback, and he said, ‘Renie, ain’t nobody gonna whip any of my kids today! Nobody! Even you, their Mama. Franklin Delano Roosevelt was elected our president yesterday, so today we’re gonna celebrate that because we got somethin’ to hope for.’ My mother dropped her switch and kept her head down as my father carried me home. The rest of the people took off to their homes.

And we did. We had hope. Took time but things started to get better little by little.”

Then we would watch the Watergate hearings and you would throw your house slipper at the 13-inch black and white television sitting on the kitchen buffet, ranting about how you couldn’t understand why people would vote for a crook like Nixon especially when Marylanders knew Agnew was a damn crook from the start and birds of a feather and all.

Your rant always ended with “that’s why you vote. Keep the crooks out. Get good people in who care about us. Not these guys who wanna line their pockets.” By then you may have knocked back a six pack, but there is no denying that you were right, Mom. You were absolutely right.

*holler- hollow, I know. But my mother and aunt always said holler so I use her words as this is her story.

American Promise

I created this image using AI

I do not want the old America back.

I do not want the old America

where hate simmered

like a hissing tea kettle

ready to blast a whistle

strong enough to tear

a silent house apart.

I do not want the old America

where arrogance celebrated

the genocidal parade

against the indigenous people

from whom we stole this land.

I do not want the old America

where each new wave of immigrants

is viewed as a less than human infestation

to be eradicated.

I do not want the old America

where people climb and stand

upon the backs of others

for greedy profiteering.

I do not want the old America

who will not acknowledge

its past mistakes.

I do not want an arrogant America,

believing freedom and greatness

are measured by the damage

caused when the twins

of cruelty and brutality

are loosed upon the land.

I want an America

who can stand up strong enough

in the face of ignorance, prejudice, and greed

and in truthful wisdom say,

“We had moments of greatness.

Fleeting moments washed away

by fears of weakness and scarcity,

pointless, needless fears.

We will be great by being

the promise we were meant to be.”

This is the America I want to see.

A Visit From The Deer

Image is my own

The deer came to greet me today.
A small hello
before going on their way–
Two does and a fuzzy coated fawn.
The leading doe stared at me,
Assessing me a threat or not.
Her head turned,
her elegant neck stretched toward me,
her eyes softened as she decided—
no need to run away.

Her stare continued.
For a moment, I sinned.
I coveted her innocence,
their understanding of the world,
these mountains here—

Yes, I know,
they know the twins,
cruelty and brutality,
in ways I can never understand.

But I envy their ignorance
of the cruelty and brutality
contained within humanity.

NO MORE. I AM JANE DOE.

Do not whisper the truth

as it would be considered rude—

NO

It is what they expect and say.

Tuck the scars away,

Shove them into the junk drawer.

NOT AGAIN

Politely smile and wave,

Making sure you’ve nothing

To disturb anyone else’s day.

Do not ruin their futures

For it was just a boyish mistake.

EVER FOR ANY GIRL

Stay silent and save

Your future too

That way.

Smile and wave.

Yes, make nice.

OR ANY WOMAN

Do not offend.

Do not be rude

By allowing your scars

To smash and intrude.

Keep subjects to bleached blandness

Of weather, pets, and binge worthy TV.

NO MORE

Do not be rude.

Do not offend

By showing your scars,

Freeing them from the dusty junk drawer.

Stay in smiling silence.

Smiling silence–

NO MORE. I AM JANE DOE

Between Rocks and Hard Places

Image is my own

I read The New York Times–

Rocks and hard places

around the world

children and us

Starving

dying

murdered

between

rocks and hard places—

My face in my hands.

I think of my mother, my father, myself—

we all have lived

between rocks and hard places

from time to time—

But now, now—

It is all rocks,

it is all hard places.

For all.

–It has been raining here

for over a week

unusual

in this high desert.

The rain a result of storms

off the western coast of Mexico.

The mountains, like ancient grandmothers,

shroud themselves in clouds

as if mourning

all of us

caught between

rocks and hard places.

This world–

where a thirteen-year-old boy

says, “I have no one.  I have nothing,”

in answer to the choice

between voluntary departure or a removal order

issued by an immigration judge–

should not contain such rocks and hard places.

This world–

where a diabetic has been cut off

from health insurance programs

and rations out what is left of her insulin

to be able to afford gas to get work and feed her kids–

should not contain such rocks and hard places.

This world–

where a farmer must let his crops rot

since he cannot afford the diesel fuel

to harvest those crops without losing money–

should not contain such rocks and hard places.

This world–

where a young girl’s future

is never considered as important

as that of the man or men

who have brutally assaulted her–

should not contain such rocks and hard places.

I want a world

without

rocks and hard places

for my grandchildren,

for all children–

a world of plenty

of peace

of acceptance–

where no one needs stand upon another

to feel bigger or better,

where no one’s worship

is the only way to worship,

where care for each other

is placed above the dollar—

perhaps not a perfect world,

but a world

where we do not create

rocks and hard places

for people

to live between.